So, I am finding myself with a lot of free time on my hands. Initially I thought I would use this time productively: sewing, painting, cleaning, exercising. You know, bettering myself. And I have to some extent, but good gravy, betterment is boring sometimes.
I took that Meyers-Brigg assessment several times in college (I have no idea why SO MANY professors thought it would be SO enlightening), I vacillated between an INFP and ENFP every time. For those not in the know, I=introvert and E=extrovert. And seriously, my scores would be like 49% introvert and 51% extrovert or vice versa every damned time. SO enlightening. Point being, I am shy and like my alone time, but sometimes need the company of others. Supposedly introverts get their energy from being alone, extroverts from being with people. I hang out in the hazy middle. I need to be alone to gather my thoughts, but will slowly go crazy if I don't get some people time as well.
That crazy thing has been especially true lately. I need some company, yo. And this is my none too subtle plea: ask me out. Invite me. Please. I am lonely and want to have a conversation that does not involve talking to a crazed kitten. Here are the benefits of asking me to your event, party, bris, etc:
- I make good conversation. I am semi-versed in many topics and have varied interests. I listen to NPR and can discuss world events. One thing speech and debate in high school taught me is the ability to bullshit pretty well about everything else.
- I like to help out! Need someone to stand by your guest book at your wedding? DONE! While I may not be able to hit a ball with a barn door, I will keep score and get water at your soft ball game! Having an orgy? I will hand out towels and offer words of encouragement!
- I will display the amount of cleavage appropriate to your event. Everyone loves cleavage.
- I clean up well. I have several dresses that I am willing to don. I also dress down for camping, gardening, toting barges.
- I will be your DD, DM, or DtF. Heh heh, just kidding on that last one! Kinda. Mostly.....geez, we'll see.
- I am charmingly awkward.
- The amount of bawdy language I use is proportional to the amount of alcohol I drink! You want to hear some seaworthy language and/or topics, just you wait!
- I can be genuinely enthusiastic about almost everything. Need someone to cheer on your team? I almost got in a fist fight once over my ardent cheering at a dodgeball game! I will cry at your wedding! Sing at your birthday! Shout insults at your enemies at your back alley brawl!
- In the long term, I am a really good friend. Not to be too humble and to misquote Jerry McGuire, I will complete you.
- If you invite me and it is a night that I don't have the kids, I will most likely come. Exceptions are neo-nazi rallies, church, vandalism, heroin, and cock/dog fighting, but for almost anything else, I am game.
That is that. Let's go out, world.