whittycism

On my birthday there is only one thing to do...

put a hat on a chicken!
Party Chicken!

High Five

So, I am ovulating today.  I use a fertility monitor and when I got the results this morning, Timmy had already left for work, so I made all the dogs give me a high five.

Yep.  Crazy lady high-fivin' dogs because she is ovulating!  That's me!!

Guess what?

CHICKEN BUTT!!

Oh, that joke won't get old, not at all...

I got my very, very early birthday present today - baby chickens!  So much YAY!

They are Noodle, Marsala, and PotPie.  Please go check out more cuteness at my flickr, you may die of cute.  You have been warned!

Folk Hogan

Timmy joined a new band last week called Folk Hogan.  It is pretty silly.  I uploaded  a few pics on my flickr.  Here is a video of Timmy hamboning, I just happened to start start filming then, I didn't know he would be displaying his wick mad hamboning skills (which I get to enjoy at home quite often):

I have also uploaded several old videos of us being cruel to the puppies, torturing them with french fries and such, enjoy!

I was sick all weekend and stuck inside, I was pretty grumpy.  I was complaining pretty loudly to Timmy last night that lately it seems like we have been doing all-Timmy-all-the-time events lately and I have just been tagging along.  As those words came out of my mouth, I realized that a pretty easy solution to that would be to get off my duff and do my own stuff.  I think I need to send up the Scissor Scout signal and gather the troops and, I don't know, DO something.  I have already started looking at craft shows for the fall, but I need to get some actual crafting done to justify some of the pretty hefty entry fees.  I need to clean my craft room.  I need to finish the bathroom.  I need to finish the floor in the mudroom.  And obviously, I need to quit complaining because I have PLENTY to do.

A very busy weekend

I was busy carting myself around to Timmy's various gigs and events this weekend.  Friday The Dirty Blondes played a show at some hippie festival in a field.  It was  odd and cold.  Then we had to book it back into town to make it to the Air Guitar Championship.  Timmy got second overall, I would like to say he was robbed, but air guitar is pretty much a ridiculousness competition and Timmy, unfortunately, was not the most ridiculous.  He was the second most ridiculous, I guess.

Then on Saturday, Timmy did air guitar at a charity BBQ event.  Here, check out the video:

Then we drove an hour and a half for a three band Timmy smorgasbord and got home at three in the morning.

Sunday, we laid in bed until noon, then laid in the backyard with the puppies and then laid on the couch and ate ribs. 

I am getting tired just thinking about this weekend.

Okay, now that is out of the way

My apologies for the heavy post, but I didn't want my absence to go unexplained.  I intend to keep up better with blogging, but I have said that before, so who knows.

I had an appointment with my regular doc  on Tuesday, blood drawn yesterday and an appointment with a infertility specialist next Thursday.  So, I guess I have started this path.  Woo.  I promise, this blog will not become all vagina all the time, but it is pretty ridiculous the amount of my day that is spent thinking about my uterus. 

The absolutely best part of all this crap is that I have to pay for it all myself!!!  Wow!!  Thanks, insurance!! You are super awesome!!  Where else can you get such a terrific deal!!  Pay money every month and get jack shit in return!!  Sign me up!!

While we are currently in the process of remodeling the bathroom (which was due to be finished 2 weeks ago!! yikes!!), I guarantee it will be last time anything new comes into our house for a long, long time.  And while we might get a kid at the end of this rigmarole, it will have to wear burlap sacks, eat twigs and sleep in a drawer. 

Anyhoo, I am in a considerably better mood today.  I am taking piano lessons.  It is weird because I don't think the teacher knows what to do with me as I am a couple decades older than the rest of her students.  I am having alot of fun though.

I am making earrings.  And working on some projects for belated Easter baskets for Jake, Kate and Finn when they come up next week.

See!  Not all about my vagina! 

I want to give up on hope

I know it has been a long long time since I last posted.  I really don't know if anyone is still reading this, but here it goes...

I haven't posted for the longest time because the biggest thing going on in my life is something that I didn't have words for - Timmy and my friends will argue that I have far, far too many words - so at least, I didn't know how to tie it up into a blog post.

Timmy and I have been trying to have a baby for 16 months.  And for whatever reason we can't.  I am healthy, he is healthy.  I just can't get pregnant.

And it sucks.  It sucks on a level that I had yet to experience.  It is life consuming and demoralizing.  It is a loss of expectations.  It is disappointment every month.  It is unknown and unfix-able.  It is peeing on a stick every morning for two weeks for naught.  It is such a deep and resounding pain that I can never get a hold on.

I am very lucky.  I have a life that is full of friends, family and a great, amazing husband.  I have so many joys in my life.  But the quiet times between the joys are filled with sadness and waiting.

I know there are many woman out there like me, couples like us, but is such a lonely thing.  No one really talks about it.  I blather on to my friends about cervical mucus and fertility monitors, but they are mostly in a different place in life and Timmy gets the brunt of my tears and rants.

The thing that sucks the worst is hope.  Every month I still expect to get a positive test.  Every month I am letdown when my period shows up.  Every month I build up hope, maybe this time, maybe this month and I am disappointed.  It is hope that hurts the worst.

Next month is our deadline for ourselves to take drastic measures, which for us means drugs and inter-uterine insemination.  And then after that I don't know.

I guess I just wanted to give you all an explanation of why I haven't been here.  All this has taken up much more of my life and mind space than I ever expected.  I didn't think I was the girl who would become obsessed with having a baby, but I guess I am.

Anyway, I am particularly despondent and teary  today and I have putting this post off for a long time, so there it is.  In all the ridiculous, heart-clutching detail.

I am strange folk.

Yay!  We did it!  We didn't exactly come back millionaires.  And I was a baby about the heat and the initial non-selling of my stuff.  But it cooled down and some stuff sold and I actually started having fun.  So, Yay!

I sold six bags and several key fobs I made at the last minute.  I learned alot and am gearing up to apply for another St Louis show that is in December (I have to apply by the end of October). 

I also bought several things and certainly blew any money I might have actually made.  Whoops!

Check out mondo pictures in my flickr.  So, so, so many props to Timmy who spent four hours stuck in traffic to go back and retrieve my camera and then took most of the actual pictures.  Not to mention driving us to St Louis, having a wonderful mom who let us stay at her house, eat her food and take over her basement with last minute crafting.  And of course for being the most wonderful, supportive husband ever who doled out many hugs when I was certain I sucked at crafts.  And of course for being dead sexy.

Phew!  I have slept like a rock  -when I was actually sleeping and not sewing- in the last week!  So tired.  But so yay!

12 ducks in a row

Any of you remember that Simpsons where Marge and Lisa make a quilt.  And there is the one scene where Marge pokes her finger with needle to demonstrate her sewing callous.  Yeah, that is me.  And this is why:

I do most of my sewing by machine, but these have a wee bit of hand sewing.  Just enough to build up a good callous and wonder if anyone will notice my uneven stitches. 

These are for Strange Folk this weekend.  I am heading up to StL with some ladies from the Scissor Scouts to try to peddle some wares.  I have 4 more bags of this size nearly done and will get to work on a half dozen large totes this evening (which are actually easier than these small ones - no hand sewing!!) and will whip up some fabric bracelets.  I have some late nights ahead of me!

We head up to StL on Friday night - wish me luck!

Fruitcake La Faye

I know I haven't posted for a long while, lots of stuff has been going on.  Both good and bad.

Today I am posting on some of the bad.

My little Fruitcake died today.  My little blue parakeet.  She was 8.  She was honestly the sweetest creature I have ever had the pleasure to know.  She craved human interaction.  She enjoyed baths in the sink and flying at people's heads.  When I first got her, before I had got her a companion, she loved being scratched on the head.  I always regretted that when I got Kricket she didn't really need me for head scratching anymore.  But recently she had been asking to be out of the cage more and more.  Wanting baths  and to sit on my shoulder and nibble my earrings.  This morning when I was getting ready for work, she and Cauliflower were cackling loudly.  I had considered covering them back up because Timmy was still asleep.  But I thought, no, let them enjoy the sunshine. 

I named her Fruitcake because when I first got her, I had never been around birds before and her antics were so nutty and strange, I kept asking her why she was such a little fruitcake.  She was the first pet I had as a grownup.

She was a fuzzy bundle of blue.  She was so sweet.   And it sounds stupid to say about a little bird, she changed my life in a lot of ways.

Some blurry pics of her - she hated the camera and never held still.