whittycism

The month of NO.

After a dramatic and emotional conversation with the student loan people, I have decided to make July the Month of NO.  As in no movies, no ice cream, no restaurants, no cable, no new clothing, no craft supplies. 

Come to find out I am slightly above the poverty line, like $100 a month above. Woo.  (Should this be something I am embarrassed about about?  I don't know.) Which means I do not qualify for economic hardship deferment. Which means I need to start paying back my student loans.  Which means we need to cut way back.

It sucks, but we manage pretty well. And I know alot of people are in way shittier situations than us.  I certainly don't feel dire, we pay our bills and have money for food and gas.  Things are alright, but it definitely is unnerving to teeter so close to the edge.

Also, it is pretty disgusting that my employer pays such crappy wages.  I would like to point out that I am slightly above the poverty line after working here for FIVE YEARS.  This is not a starting wage.

Also, there are Yeses in the Month of NO: videos, pudding, Timmy's delicious home-cooked meals, internet and making do with what we got.

Also, while July will be a test run at the Month of NO, I suspect very strongly that it will become full-time NO. 

Damn it.  I really like going to the movies.

edited to remove the direct if vague reference to my employer, because while I am not thrilled with the wage, I enjoy being paid...

It happens

I would apologize for not posting in an eon, but I figure if anyone is still reading they are well accustomed to the fact that I am horrible about posting.  Still, sorry, I shouldn't make promises I am unlikely to keep.  Bad habit.

If it makes any difference, I was doing pretty well until the kicked me out of Weight Watchers for getting knocked up.  I would post after my lunch meeting and it was a good reminder.  But once that weekly reminder was gone,  I was screwed.

So anyhow, things around here are going pretty well.  We have been out of town for the last two weekends.  The last weekend of May was our five year wedding anniversary and we went camping.  I have to say, I don't think I have had a nicer trip in a very long time.  Shit, it was better than our honeymoon.  We camped in our trailer at a state park about an hour away.  We had a lovely shaded spot right next to a creek.  We ate grilled food, played Uno, went on walks, waded in the creek (in public! in my swimsuit!  That is how good a time I was having!) and just generally enjoyed each others company.  It wasn't too hot or too much work  or too much driving.  It was really a perfect trip.  You can check out pictures on my flickr if you want. But be forewarned it contains a little bit of this:

Oh, yeah!

Last weekend we went up to St Louis again for a wedding again.  Man, it is marrying time!  This was one of Timmy's cousins and of course it was a great time.  I will say again how amazed I am at how nice every damn person in Timmy's family is.  Even the cousin who works for Girls Gone Wild!  Seriously, it weird and I think they are automotons, but only in the sense that people that nice do not exist in nature!

We have also been getting things ready around the house, but it is still a huge mess.  Which, at 6 months pregnant, is pretty freakin' frightening.  So far I have only had one minor anxiety attack and it went a little like this: "Ahhh! A person!  A tiny person will be in our house soon!  What are we going to do!! I have no idea what to do!!!"  So it wasn't directly caused by the huge, gaping butthole that is the state of our house, but it is certainly related.

So we have a growing to do list.  Luckily, Timmy is only working half days this summer.  And also, luckily Timmy is the most awesome, stand-up, A-1 guy on the planet and is working his ass off when he is not working at his job.  We have gotten somthings done.  We have moved ourselves completely downstairs.  We have gotten a bedframe.  We have painted the bedroom floor.  See here:

Oh my, look, there is pregnant me as well.  Hmmm, am I just trolling for compliments about cute and pregnant I look?  YES I AM.  Please ignore slightly grumpy look on my face.  That is how I roll.

We still need to fix that damn ceiling.  We still need to cover the HOLE in the bathroom floor.  We still have to finish the framing on two windows. We still need to actually get our gutters functioning.  We need to clean and seal our deck.  We still need to maybe one day, I don't know, fix the hole in the roof of our garage in some permanent way.  We still need to figure out a way to get all those damn packing peanuts out of the attic.  We still need to clean, clean, clean.

OH MY GOD!  WE ARE SO SCREWED!!

Alrighty, I am going to go breath into this here paper bag now and try not to pass out.  Later!

Stuff that happened...

Whoops, I meant to post on Monday.

We went to St. Louis this weekend for another wedding of one of Timmy's childhood friends.  We had a really good time. The wedding was at Timmy's old elementary school and it was very Catholic. 

I love going to Catholic weddings, it is all so mysterious and strange to me.  You stand up and sit down.  You shake hands with your neighbors.  Don't get me wrong, I am not converting anytime soon, but it like taking a short trip to a foreign country, totally unfamiliar and really interesting.  And I like looking at all the statues.

The reception was super snazzy and alot of fun.  Catholics know how to party.

We hung out with Timmy's family, who are unnaturally nice and at way too much food.  It was pretty much a great weekend.

This coming weekend we are setting up our garden and taking a trip to Baker Creek to get some seeds and hopefully some seedlings.  Which means I need to figure out what I want to plant before Sunday.

Oh, and I got to hear the baby's heartbeat today.  It was pretty exciting.  It sounded just like a far away train to me.  Minus the whistle. I also outed myself at work. And I survived and everyone was very nice and excited.  Phew, glad that part is over.

And that is stuff.

dreams

This may not be exciting to anyone but me, but I had my first baby dream last night.

I was holding a wee little shrimped up baby in a diaper on my chest and I felt it poop. Suddenly the diaper was off and I was putting it on the bed. I got poop on Timmy's pillow.  I found a towel and put it under the baby and started cleaning it up. And the baby burped up what looked like orange juice and I cleaned that up.  At this point, I realized the baby was a boy and was afraid he was about to pee on me so I covered his bits with the corner of the towel.

I was struck by a few things in my dream.  It was a fair headed baby and very pale and it was a boy!  I think this probably not prophetic necessarily, but more likely that I have mostly changed diapers for fair headed, pale, little boys (my brother Mark and my nephew Jake). 

I was also struck by how calm I remained during the whole dream.  I am pretty afraid I am going to be a freaked-out failure of a mother and this dream was nice and mellow and natural.  It was very nice.

I woke up Timmy to tell him about the dream and tell him we need to buy baby sunblock.  Because obviously any baby I have will be neon pale.

Also, we are going to our first mega consignment sale this week at the fair grounds.  I am going to try my damnedest not to buy baby clothes.  We are just looking.

Haha.

Parades for all

We paraded!

I am still exhausted. 

Our group was dressed as Leprechauns riding unicorns chasing after a pot of gold which we had attached to my mother's Smart car.  We had good weather and the crowds were HUGE.  It was completely packed from beginning to end. 

It is weird being in a parade and people getting all excited to see you.  I mean, I was in parades in high school in the marching band, but it isn't the same.  In marching band you are concentrating on keeping in line, being on the right foot and of course, playing an instrument.  But when you are walking down the street surrounded by hundreds of people cheering and waving and all you have to think about is not falling over and throwing candy, it is really hard not have a big goofy grin on your face.

I  had to stop walking about half way through partly because I am a totally unfit wuss and partly because my stomach began to hurt and it was scary.  So I switched placed with my dad who was driving the car and I was fine after that. 

And I was a much more aggressive driver than my dad who was all concerned with running people over.  Not me.  I just honked and zoomed on ahead.  I also tried to pull some fancy swerve-y moves with out toppling the car over.

We didn't win anything thing for our unicorns or pot of gold, but the pugs won for 3rd for Best Irish Pet.  I am happy to win anything - especially because the trophies are so cool - but I find it pretty hilarious that we didn't get anything for the unicorns, which were over a year in planning (only about week or two in making) and the pug costumes won, when I had made them that morning!  

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

I know, this is way past wenesday, but give me a break, we have been busy getting ready for the St. Pat's parade and falling asleep by 8:30.  Well, that last one is just me.

In order to make up for it, I will do an extra big post on MONDAY for you all filled with parade pictures!  So keep your pants on!

KA-POW!

I was going to be all coy, but fuckit...

I am knocked up again!  But this time it is in the right place.  And it seems to be doing well.

I have said in the past that I am against these broad, early announcements.  But then again, fuckit.  I have already shared the worst here, it doesn't make sense to keep back the the good.

I am 10 weeks and 5 days (the ultrasound was yesterday) and feeling good.  We saw the heartbeat.  We cried.  We laughed at our selves for crying.  I made my cervix jump around by laughing.

For those of you not familiar with the nuances the ultrasound or just see a blob, the head is down towards the bottom.  If you squint, you can pretend you can see a little face.  And there are some wee fingers there too.  All the other bits are there, but they are more vague -just take my word for it.

Timmy is over the moon and has told everyone.  They even had a banner for him when he got back to work after the appointment yesterday.  (A big eye-roll directed at elementary school teachers.  Even if it is pretty sweet)  And of course, 45+ Italians in St. Louis have been informed.

I however have not told work, so keep it quiet.  Not that I have any reason not to tell, I am just kinda private at work.  I will probably tell my boss at the end of the month and then I will have to figure out a way to tell the rest of the staff.  There probably will be no banners involved.

Oh, I am due in late September.

So that is it.  Keep you fingers crossed for the most uneventful, boring pregnancy ever.  That results in a healthy, super-awesome baby, of course.  (Timmy is hoping for laser eyes!)

OMG MY LIFE IS SO BORING....

Maybe I should change to another day of the week.  Because by Wednesday, my brain is sufficiently jellied by work that I have forgotten anything exciting that happened over the weekend.

As I was starting this post, I was pretty dumbfounded by what the heck to write and then I remembered, duh, I totally drove 26 hours round-trip to Texas over the weekend.  And I showed my ass to a busload of San Antonio tourist on their way to the Alamo.  And I saw the Alamo for the second time.  And it was just as underwhelming as it was the first time.

Timmy and I went to his old elementary school friend's wedding in  San Antonio.  I think we were the only fools who actually drove to Texas, but we are cheap and bad about planning ahead.  We put a air mattress in the back of of the Fit (more like almost fit!  Ba-DUM!) and switched-off driving on the way down.  The way home was a different story.  I felt weird and puny and Timmy drove the entire damn 14 hour way because he is a god among men.  And he had listen to me whine and moan the whole way too.  A total champ, I am telling you.

We had really good time at the wedding.  I generally like weddings alot.  It is an excuse for eating cake and dressing up and shaking your ass.  We have another wedding at the end of next month for another childhood friend of Timmy's - luckily in much more sensible St. Louis.

Part of me thinks it is really cool that Timmy is friends with all these guys from elementary school, but most of me thinks it is really weird.  I have no idea where any of my old school mates are, barring a few high school exceptions.  I am not even really keeping up with friends from college that well.  I have always been a quality over quantity kinda gal and honestly, Timmy has been my "best friend" for so long now, I have to try earnestly to make lady friends like a normal person.  Basically, I am too lazy for more than one or two best friends and too self-absorbed.

A therapist once told me I need to own my laziness.  I am not sure how that is helpful to my messy house, lack of friends, and lack of ambition, but I tell you what, I have owned the fuck out it since then.

As you can tell from my awesome blog posts!  OUTIE!

Hmm, let's see...

These once a week posts are hard because I have a difficult time remembering what has happened over the last week.  Not that there is SO MUCH happening or that I am slipping into early dementia, it is just that NOT MUCH is happening and I am slipping into early dementia.

So, Valentine's Day.  Timmy and I had been in the habit of not celebrating the day and waiting until the day after and celebrating Volentine's Day - the day of half priced chocolate.  But since we are both trying to curtail our chocolate intake, we celebrated on the day proper.  With chocolate  fondue.  Screw logic.

It was delicious.

And I was sick for the rest of the day.

Romantic!!

Embarrassingly, I went to see Twilight again.  But at least this time I wasn't alone, I went with a bunch of ladies (and a poor lone dude) to the cheap theater.  We laughed and laughed.

I also finished reading the second book in the series.  I am so ashamed that I put the third book on hold at the library.  The shame!!

There is some other stuff, but like I said, I am losing it. 

Until next week!!

Under the wire

Phew, I almost forgot.

I blame it on only eating a cupcake for lunch.

I had real food later, but I was very forgetful until then.  I shouldn't be allowed to participate in regular society when I haven't eaten properly.

It makes me cranky.  And easily confused.

Hey!

The St. Pat's parade is coming up soon.  I have been collecting lots and lots of giant cardboard boxes for the parade.  I won't reveal more than that.   Except that is gonna be crazy awesome.

Speaking of crazy awesome, I have a warm electric blanket waiting for me upstairs.  Oh, so nice.

Next week I will try to be better.  Promise.